i am so tired. empty.
i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to act.
i went to the doctors office by myself for the first time in my life. the doctor asked where my mom was, and i just said “She died last january.” i didn’t even try and make it sound less shocking, or think about how it would sound to her. she went on and asked all these questions about how we were living, i tried to give good answers but i don’t know if i did okay or not. i hope she doesn’t pry and call someone, like DHS or something. i have dealt with that too many times.
it used to be every day was a battle, and i was strong enough to do it all. now every day is just another day, i have nothing to fight for.
my brain is dissolving, i don’t know who i am anymore.
i don’t want to be empty, i want to be strong, different, alive.
i don’t want to turn into all of them.
what happened to me?